Working Through the Frustrations of Faith
Jason T. Berggren is the author of 10 Things I Hate About Christianity: Working Through the Frustrations of Faith. A note from the Jason: Hate: (n) a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action * "My dad never let me use the word hate. He said it sounded too violent. But it was often the only accurate description of how I felt. Part of me understood, but another part of me rebelled." "We can all feel hate. Even in the good, productive, and meaningful aspects of life, there's frequently a level of frustration that overwhelms us when we are faced with trying to achieve certain goals -- like getting in shape, making the grade, or straightening out our finances." "This is where I got stuck in my spirituality. Within the pages of my book are the 10 things I've hated about Christianity over the years and how I've worked through my frustrations. I call it the intersection of real life, simple faith, and raw emotion." "Maybe you'll see yourself here too." * WordNetģ Princeton University lexical database for the English language 10 Things I Hate About Christianity: Working Through the Frustrations of Faith by Jason T. Berggren 237 page paperback; Copyright 2009 Published by X-Media Printed in the USA ISBN: 9780981944302
10 Things I Hate About the Holidays
It Helps to Have a Sense of Humor...The holidays are upon us. Iíve been through enough of them now to know come January 1st I will have a list of things swimming around in my mind. And it's not a "resolution" kind of list. It's a "Where did all the fun that I was supposed to have go this holiday?" kind of list. It's a "I have bunch of regrets mixed in with my fond memories" kind of list.
To preempt the regrets in order to create a reservoir of overwhelmingly positive memories, I have decided to make a list of all the things I hate about the holidays to bring out what is (or should be) most important to me. And I think we can all see ourselves somewhere in this list. So I hope it helps with your holiday celebrations whatever they may be ó Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Ramadan, or Festivus (for the rest of us). Plus, I hope it might add a little levity and bring some focus to this busy time.
10. Decorating. I hate all the time it takes to decorate. Now, let me be clear, I love decorations and things being decorated. I just donít like doing it! The untangling of lights, finding hooks for each ornament, finding the one bulb in a string of 50 that is keeping the whole string dead, and pretending like I am having so much fun for the kidsí sake is all very frustrating. A few years ago, we even resorted to having an artificial Christmas tree. As much as I hate it and vowed to NEVER sink to such a low, itís so much better (and easier) ó less mess, less money, no maintenance. I even keep it stored, fully assembled in the basement. So I literally have the tree up in ten minutes when itís time to get started. We also light a pine tree scented candle so our visitors think it's real. But the kids like all the hoopla and thatís enough for me. Plus, I do love putting the train around the tree. Thatís pretty awesome.
9. Shopping. UGH! Iím not a good gift buyer or giver. Really, this applies to the gifts for my wife, Lisa. She does the shopping for the gifts for the kids. That is VERY good! I do love that. Sure, we talk about what to get, but she does all the work in the end. The problem is, I always wait until the last minute. Yes, I know itís a clichť for a man to do this. Itís just how it happens. Thank God stores are open Christmas Eve! For me, there is nothing worse than going to the mall during the holidays. You just canít get everything on-line. Some people get recharged emotionally shopping at the mall (like my wife). I just get suicidal. Iím also not good at telling others what I want. That doesn't make it easy for others to shop for me. Itís not that I donít want stuff. I just hate telling people what I want. Plus, everything has a dollar value to me nowadays, so I think about how much weíre spending constantly. Besides, I like life simple. I like relaxing, going to the movies, and eating. Itís not like you can put a rib-eye in the stocking, right? Plus, the things I really do want are just too much money (a remodeled house, new truck, 1,000,000 copies of my book to be sold etc. are some things that come to mind).
8. Fighting. Donít lie, we all have several snippy moments during the most wonderful time of the year. And yes, some of us even argue. We might even yell at the kids a little. Itís hard, stressful, and tense trying to have so much fun and make something so special. We want it all to be so perfect and that can set us off quite easily. Tempers flare during what is supposed to be a very satisfying and relaxing season with the family. You may also be tense from the traveling to visit family. Now throw all the other things on my list in and you have a recipe for disaster.
7. Fat. Not you, but me. We all gain a little around the holidays and itís not usually character, patience, or anything useful like that. Itís weight. Overeat? That doesnít mean anything to me this time of year. Full? What does that have to do with anything? Eating is a state-of-mind for me. You have to be disciplined and really apply yourself if you want to do it properly. Portion and rationing are the smart thing to do. But since when is smart fun when it comes to food? Turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, honey-baked ham, rib-roast, sweet potatoes, apple pie. Yes please! Anyone hungry yet?
6. Montezuma's Revenge. If you donít get that reference, it doesnít mean you wonít get it from eating so much food. Tums and Pepto-Bismol will help. That's right, I said it. Fried this and saturated that starts to catch up. For me, there's no way around it because I refuse to eat responsibly during the holidays. That just wouldn't be any fun now would it! It's a matter of fact, I am a handyman by day and Iíve even put Tums in the first-aid kit for just such an emergency.
5. Holiday Blues. I hate the fact that the holiday mindset doesnít set in until it is all nearly over. I think if I could take off work from Halloween until News Years Day, it might get me in the right holiday mindset sooner and keep me there longer. Sounds good, right? Youíd have time to get the stressful Ďto-doí items done, relax, and know there is even enough time to recoup. But mostly weíre working and shopping right until the last minute, so the holiday feeling doesnít set in because we havenít been still or relaxed enough to ďdetoxĒ from the regular routine of life. I usually hit the ground running during holidays. What's worse is, once I realize the relaxing euphoria has finally set in, it is followed by the thought that the holiday season will be over in a day or two.
4. Political Correctness. This is a relatively recent development. Over the past five or so years there have been some ridiculous things happening surrounding the holidays. From public school teachers being threatened with formal reprimands for saying Merry Christmas, to Christmas trees being removed from public grounds because they have a religious meaning. And if the trees arenít removed, they are simply called "Holiday Trees" in order to be more inclusive. The funny thing is, Christmas trees are actually a pagan practice that Christians adopted. Thatís the problem with political correctness gone wild. You forget who you are and what itís really about. So Happy Ramanahanakwanzmas? NO! Merry Christmas! I wish you all the best. But thatís how we roll around here.
3. Spenders Remorse. In order for it to feel like a holiday, I spend freely. This is because in our everyday lives we have to be budget conscious. I hate the feeling like I am spending too much, but at the same time, I ignore it so it will still feel like a holiday. This only compounds the issue. We always go over budget. Not sure how not to do that one.
2. Santa. I donít hate Santa, but hate the issue of Santa within our family. Why? Because most of us who've grown-up in America were told thereís Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, God, and Jesus. We teach kids theyíre all real, but theyíre not all real. Eventually our kids will be okay with Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy being cute little white lies, while accepting Jesus and God as completely legit ó right? Not really. At least I donít think so, and itís something I talk about in my book 10 Things I Hate About Christianity: Working Through the Frustrations of Faith (see sidebar). This is something that my wife and I have spoken about in depth. Will we tell our kids about Santa? Will Santa be the one who gives them their gifts? Itís funny how many atheists (and some agnostics) have railed me over the years for teaching my kids about Jesus and God ó something that canít be proven. You know, they want to wait to introduce ideas of faith and religion to their kids when theyíre old enough to decide for themselves. Sounds so intellectual and enlightened, right? But these people have had no problem telling their kids about a fat guy sliding down the chimney with a sack full of gifts and eating the cookies and milk, his elves, flying reindeer, and somehow doing this at midnight in every home all around the world. Do I have a problem with the story of Santa? Not at all. Weíre not Grinches. We tell our kids the story of the real Saint Nicholas. But weíve decided thatís where it stops. Sorry Santa. No cookies for you at the Berggren home.
1. Forgetting. I suppose #2 really leads to this one. I donít know what it is all about for youÖthe holidays, that is. But for me itís supposed to be about the birth of Jesus ó you know, the most influential person in history. I hate that all of the above stuff on my list tends to get in the way of what these times are supposed to be about. I have to tell myself more than once during the holidays, ďItís all about Jesus, stupid!Ē I donít want to forget to remember what my priorities are supposed to be. Whatever you believe in, I hope youíll add value to yourself and those around you by relaxing, spending time with loved ones, and celebrating. Thatís the #1 thing. Itís what the holidays are supposed to be all about.