A Rogue's Gallery of Publishing
Who would publish Snooki? Here's the website description of Snooki's publisher, S&S imprint Gallery Books: "Gallery Books combines the Pocket Books hardcover and trade paperbacks, and Simon Spotlight Entertainment imprint into one larger and more powerful imprint. Like its name suggests, Gallery is committed to serving the audience and dedicated to publishing a wide variety of must-read books. Gallery is designed to showcase established voices and to introduce emerging new ones -- both in fiction and nonfiction, and across a variety of genres. With a focus on women’s fiction, pop-culture, lifestyles, and memoir, Gallery publishes New York Times bestselling authors from Tori Spelling to Mackenzie Phillips to Clinton Kelly. Pocket Books remains the mass market imprint in the Gallery family, publishing titles from authors like Stephen King, Mary Higgins Clark, Vince Flynn, Sandra Brown, Greg Iles, Kresley Cole, and Julia London." Some of the genres listed as specialties of Gallery Books are Urban Fantasy, High Fantasy, Paranormal Romance, Inspirational Women’s Fiction, Upmarket Women's Fiction, Media Tie-in, and Commercial Fiction (male interest). I wonder how many Snooki fans are also readers? Hmm...
Advertisments
Much Ado About Publishing
Moron Press: The Finest in Dreck Lit
Simon & Schuster has jumped the shark. They're going to publish a novel by Snooki.
Yes, that Snooki. The Snooki who clearly swims in the shallow end on the television reality show Jersey Shore. The Snooki who has only read two books in her entire life. The Snooki who is not a writer.
It's just the latest example of “Dreck Lit.”
Dreck. That's Yiddish for "sh*t."
As in Sh*t Lit.
When I heard Simon & Schuster's Snooki announcement, I decided that we need a designated Dreck Lit publishing house called Moron Press. That would free up the rest of the publishers, majors and indies, to publish only books by people who can actually write.
Although Moron Press probably won't need anyone's help rustling up some dreck, I thought I'd make a few suggestions, beginning with their first title:
I Pity the Food: Mr. T's Collected Grocery Lists.
As a ready-made backlist, I offer these titles from my Much Ado About Publishing columns, as noted and linked so you can amuse yourself (until titles resembling these actually show up in bookstores, and then you can slide from amusement directly into disgust) by seeing each in its entirety.
From "Publishers Are From Mars" these must-have New Age books:
From "Black Holes, Dust & Furballs," three of the Top 10 Inanimate Biography/Micro-History Books:
From "This Book Brought to You By..." these corporate-sponsored titles:
From "Celebrity Books Run Amuck," two guaranteed bestsellers:
From ”What if Authors Went on Strike?" three of the books industry employees would have to write:
From "Nina L. Diamond's 2007 Annual Holiday Parody”:
And, From "Nina's 2009 Annual Holiday Parody”:
Moron Press: The Finest in Dreck Lit...
* * * * *
(NOTE: Mitchell Ivers is the Vice President and Senior Editor at Gallery, the Simon & Schuster imprint that will publish Shore Thing, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi's novel. Mitchell is a hell of a nice guy and a delight to work with. I know because he was my editor at Pocket/Simon & Schuster when I ghosted a book for them. I also ghosted two other books for Fireside/Simon & Schuster, and both times my editor was a terrific woman who is now with another publishing house. I have nothing personal against Simon & Schuster and they treated me very well. But, they have a job to do, and I have a job to do. And one of my professional duties is to comment on the books publishers choose to publish. And even parody them, when necessary. It was necessary.)
* * * * * * * * *
As a journalist, columnist, essayist, and media critic, Nina L. Diamond's work has appeared in many publications, including Omni magazine, The Los Angeles Times Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and The Miami Herald.
She was a regular contributor to a number of "late, great" national, regional, and newspaper Sunday magazines, including Omni; the award-winning South Florida magazine; and Sunshine, the Ft. Lauderdale (now South Florida) Sun-Sentinel's Sunday magazine.
She covers the arts and sciences; the media, publishing, and current affairs; and writes feature articles, interviews, commentary, humor/satire/parody, essays, and reviews.
Ms. Diamond is also the author of Voices of Truth: Conversations with Scientists, Thinkers & Healers (Lotus Press) and the unfortunately titled Purify Your Body (Three Rivers Press/Crown/Random House) , a book of natural health reporting which has been a selection of The Book-of-the-Month Club's One Spirit Book Club and the Quality Paperback Book Club.
For its entire run from 1984-1998, she was a writer and performer on Pandemonium, the National Public Radio (NPR) satirical humor program, which aired on WLRN-FM in Miami.
She has appeared on Oprah, discussing the publishing industry, but, in a case of very bad timing, that appearance was two years before her first book was published.
She has written her Much Ado About Publishing column for Independent Publisher since 2003.
* * * * *
Follow Nina on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/@ninatypewriter
Become a "fan" on Nina's Facebook page:
http://www.facebook.com/NinaL.DiamondFanPage
* * * * *
Read Nina's other Much Ado About Publishing columns from 2010:
Playing 20 Questions with Evil Wylie
When LOL Meets PPF
Sunday in the Park with Scarlett, Seuss, Webster, Zhivago & Salinger
There's No Such Thing As a Quick Remote
Thanks for the Genes
From Blog to Eternity
Jessie: A Literary Tail & A Warm Nose for News
Struggles on the Shelves
Impacted Cranial Rectitis