Much Ado About Publishing
Authors Uncovered
So many books. So many authors trying everything they can think of to promote them. Trying everything plenty of other inventive people have come up with to promote them. Like having naked women reading in front of an audience. You'd think that Naked Girls Reading is a parody, but it's not. It's very real, and the group, with "chapters" around the U.S. and Canada, puts on themed readings, often sponsored by authors who pay marketing costs. The girls doing the readings are naked, of course. The authors are not. Which got me thinking. Once you have naked women doing public readings, where do you go from there to promote your book?
I've come up with a few ideas:
1) Naked Authors Weekly "Sure, you only buy it for the interview," says the magazine's tag line on the cover of every issue, and maybe that's actually true because the magazine features male and female adult authors of all ages, shapes, and sizes. Wearing absolutely nothing. Writers have always been told, "Show, don't tell," and now they can also do that after their books are published.
2) The Bathroom Book Tour Hey, why not? You read in the bathroom at home and, now, you can read in a bathroom to audiences at your booksignings. Authors sit on the literary throne while reading and signing, but no peeing or pooping is allowed 'cause, hey, we do have some standards left. Those who take a more modest approach to book promotion do have the option of sitting with the lid down and their pants up.
3) The Paid Readers Revolution First, writers were paid to write for magazines and newspapers, and to write books. Next, they were expected to write for free in blogs and to fork over money to self-publish their books. Now, authors earn nothing at all, but they pay people to read their books! Hey, didn't you get the memo? In the 21st century, "content" is free! People put in a lot of time reading a book, and now they're paid for that time as professional readers of authors' published books. Finally, publishing has been simplified: No agents, no publishers, just authors and their paid readers. And, promotion? Why, it's a snap when books are free and everyone gets paid for reading them. And it doesn't stop there. Everyone will now be paid to read magazines and newspapers, too. Paywall shmaywall. You hear that, Huffington Post? There's your new business model.
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As a journalist, columnist, essayist, and media critic, Nina L. Diamond's work has appeared in many publications, including Omni magazine, The Los Angeles Times Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, and The Miami Herald. She was a regular contributor to a number of "late, great" national, regional, and newspaper Sunday magazines, including Omni; the award-winning South Florida magazine; and Sunshine, the Ft. Lauderdale (now South Florida) Sun-Sentinel's Sunday magazine. She covers the arts and sciences; the media, publishing, and current affairs; and writes feature articles, interviews, commentary, humor/satire/parody, essays, and reviews. Ms. Diamond is also the author of Voices of Truth: Conversations with Scientists, Thinkers & Healers (Lotus Press) and the unfortunately titled Purify Your Body (Three Rivers Press/Crown/Random House) , a book of natural health reporting which has been a selection of The Book-of-the-Month Club's One Spirit Book Club and the Quality Paperback Book Club. For its entire run from 1984-1998, she was a writer and performer on Pandemonium, the National Public Radio (NPR) satirical humor program, which aired on WLRN-FM in Miami. She has appeared on Oprah, discussing the publishing industry, but, in a case of very bad timing, that appearance was two years before her first book was published. She has written her Much Ado About Publishing column for Independent Publisher since 2003. * * * * * Follow Nina on Twitter: http://twitter.com/@ninatypewriter Become a "fan" on Nina's Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/NinaL.DiamondFanPage * * * * * Read some of Nina's previous Much Ado About Publishing columns: Choosing Crazy The Nice Guy Behind Evil Wylie: A Conversation with Andrew Shaffer De-Witched, Authored & Remaindered Moron Press: The Finest in Dreck Lit Playing 20 Questions with Evil Wylie When LOL Meets PPF Sunday in the Park with Scarlett, Seuss, Webster, Zhivago & Salinger There's No Such Thing As a Quick Remote Thanks for the Genes From Blog to Eternity